Book 70: Finished.

The first time I read this as a 17 year-old high school student, I knew I loved it. I don't know why I was so in love, since I certainly didn't have enough life experience to fully understand the heavy weight of this little novel.

And on subsequent rereads, I still don't think I fully understand every little nuance in language, or relate to the emotions that Edna has towards her children and life. I am not in her situation. I cannot understand what it must feel like to be sweltering under the weight of things that you don't want.

I don't have the trapped feeling my own marriage. I don't know what it would be like to feel that way. Perhaps I am lucky.

My husband understands who I am, what I enjoy, and who I want to become. He allows me the freedom to be the person I want. He doesn't hold me back, or expect me to be something else.

Edna is in a relationship like that. While her husband seems to care about her, he doesn't understand her. Instead, he holds her to the image of what she should be. When she begins to rebel against that image, he freaks out. Who wouldn't be a tad upset with their spouse if they stopped doing the things they had done for so long?

Of course, this novel was published in 1899, so the relationships between men and women, husbands and wives were held to different standards. Women were expected to marry, have babies, and take care of the household. It was never really accepted for a woman to do what she wished with her own time, to cultivate deep passions for things that were not her husband or children.

But that is what Edna so desires in this novel. And she begins to pull away, to "wake" the person inside her who has been pushed down for so long. She longer wants to see herself as a mother or a wife, but as a person.

That is a powerful realization. To know that you have been suppressing the deepest and more central part of yourself, for fear of it not being understood. And to finally release that person into an environment where everyone sees you as something else...well, that is bound to cause ripples.

But this is what happens to Edna in The Awakening. She begins to pull away from the woman she once was, define her independence, and come to the realization of what that means.

It is no wonder that this book was controversial upon its publication. A strong woman making her own choices, and being seen sexually, was too much for audiences in 1899. Now, some may read it and wonder why she didn't leave sooner.

In many ways, I am grateful for where society is now-that I am allowed to make my own decisions and follow my passions because they make me happy. I don't have to be something that will make me miserable. If I want to leave the home and work, I can. If Matt wants to stay home with the kids, he can. It may raise eyebrows, but it is never as shocking as it once could have been.

I know that as I age, have kids, have more responsibilities, that The Awakening will be something I often return to. It is a book with choice, with possibilities, and alternate meanings. Like so many other classics, I know I will pull more from it in each and every read of it.

Book 70: The Awakening and Book Stats.

Title: The Awakening

Author: Kate Chopin (1850-1904)

First Published: 1899

My Edition: Avon Books by Harper Collins (Seen at left)

Pages: 190

Other Works Include: At Fault (1890), Short Stories: "Désirée's Baby," A Respectable Woman," "Madame Célestin's Divorce," and others.

I first read Chopin's The Awakening as a senior in high school for the famed AP Literature class. This was one of the books I chose to read on my own for our monthly essays. When I first picked it out, I really had no idea what it was about, but I knew it was short. I needed short since I read the novel two days before my paper was due.

I ended up loving the book. And while I didn't relate to it entirely, I certainly loved it. It spoke to me. So, I have read it numerous times since then. It was a required book in one of my college English classes, and I have read it on my own a couple of other times. It is a story I am very familiar with and have a special fondess for.

But saying all that, I have only read one other thing by Chopin, and that's her story, "A Respectable Woman." I need to make sure to read more by her in the future!


Have you read this title? What did you think?

Book 2: Crime and Punishment and Russian Names.

Well, you voted and after 21 votes Crime and Punishment won as the next book I am reading.

*sigh*

I was hoping that something else would win because my one previous experience with Crime and Punishment didn’t go so well. When I was a senior in high school I was in A.P. English. Every month we had to read a book off of the A.P. English list and Crime and Punishment was my choice one month. After finally getting a copy I sat down to read it. When I finished about 30 pages, I set it aside and I had no idea what I had read. Literarily, I couldn’t recall a thing I had read and was on the verge of tears.

I gave up and told my teacher I needed to read something else. I read The Awakening instead.

Now I have to read it again. Ugh.

But I did start it and surprise, its not as bad as I remembered. Actually, I kind of like it, although it is slow and rather detailed. I am also struggling with the names. I have no Russian background so I am attempting to pronounce these names in my head.

Usually when I am reading fantasy, I come across names that are unfamiliar, so I simply make up something in my head that sounds like the letters I am seeing on the page. But these Russian names…..they’re hurting my head. My brain can’t seem to process these names and I stumble over them every time I see one.

So, to fix all this, I am renaming the main characters as I come across them in hopes that it will make it a little easier to get through the story without getting tripped up on names.

The main character has been referred to as either the young man or Raskolnikov. I have decided to call him Rascal. And the man name Marmeladov I am just calling Ma.

Perhaps Fyodor Dostoevsky won’t approve but I do need to keep my sanity.