I was really trying to avoid writing this post, or thinking about this as a possibility.
But I really need a break.
I have been feeling very overwhelmed with obligations. And I have been feeling really angry about some of the behavior I have seen online in the blogging community recently. Perhaps I am entirely too sensitive about some of the things I've seen.
But it is hard to come home after working with struggling kids all day to see grown adults bickering and picking stupid fights online. On blogs. My students don't act that way. And they might have a reason to. Some of the kids I am teaching this semester need a lot of help. They've been told that they're stupid, that they're not going anywhere, and that even by trying as hard as they can, they'll never be a good student. I struggle with them every day to build up their esteem and give them encouragement to keep reading, keep trying. And for some of them, this is the first time they've had an adult cheer them on. For some of them, this is the first time they are understanding a book in an English class.
The last thing I want to see when I come home from school are adults, bloggers, nit-picking posts, judging the merits of projects and challenges, spewing filth and anger on their blogs that is directed at another group, or leaving a nasty comment on a blogger's post who is only trying to do good things for the community. I am also sick of getting judgmental e-mails in my inbox about what I choose to share here. Because really, no one has a right to judge what I do. This space is for me, and for me alone. My goal has always been to talk about why I love literature, not to cater to the needs of self-righteous individuals who need to feel validated by putting others down.
And honestly, I don't care if this post makes you want to stop reading any future posts by me. Good. Stop following my feed. I never started this place for you, and I will never bow down to make sure I fit in the box I am "supposed" to fit in.
The last thing I want to do is feel like I am giving the negativity excess attention, but I can't hold my tongue anymore.
I'm stepping away for a week or two. I'll see you when I come back.
If you need to, get in touch with me on twitter or email me (on my profile page).