Our first quarter ended last week. It surprised me a bit. One minute I was under the stress of entering grades, and then I realized that hey, my first year in my real teaching job is a 1/4 over. It was a bit of an overwhelming feeling-that there was still a lot left to do, that it went by SO fast, that I need more time to teach my content to my classes, and that I need to relax and get some sleep. This last week has been an extension of that.
At times I feel like I am rocking at everything...and at other times, I feel like I'm drowning. It's a toss up with what each day will bring, but I am pushing through. I know that the first quarter of school was the roughest...it was ten weeks straight without a day off for the kids. Now, the rest of the year is broken up by short weeks and breaks interspersed into our daily routine.
One of the things I told myself last weekend is that I need to start setting aside time for myself. I have workaholic tendencies (courtesy of my dad, I suppose). I always feel like there is MORE that I could be doing. I get hyper-focused on tasks and before I know it, the clock says 6pm and I'm still at school. THEN, I bring things home and work until 9 or 10 at night. I can't keep up that pace, and I can't continue to give up my weekends, so I'm trying to turn that around-set some limits for myself so I don't burn out.
Part of that is returning my reading. Reading is something I feel guilty about when I have papers to grade and lessons to plan, but it really calms me. Besides, I enjoy the time I spend with my books, so I need to find the time. In the last couple of weeks, I have definitely done that. While I am still on a big YA kick, I've been reading more...and I feel calmer having done so.
As for my project...I'm not sure where it stands. Having read 150 titles from my 250 shows me that I can be dedicated. It has also changed my reading preferences significantly (I say this after being on my YA kick...I still prefer my classics, YA just holds my attention better and I can read MORE). But right now, the idea of solely focusing on the remaining titles makes me twitchy. I know that eventually I will finish, and I know that when I do have breaks from school I will shift my focus.
Anyway, I'm going to continue to try to revive the blog. It is in a state of standstill, and that bothers me, so we'll see if I can bring it back to life.
I hope everything is going okay with all of you.
Revive is what I'm trying to do with my blog too. :)
ReplyDeleteThat guilt you feel is something I deal with too. You just have to remember that with a job like teaching there is ALWAYS something you could be doing. You could work 24/7 on nothing else and still feel like you could be doing more. Finding a balance is necessary (and you will be a more innovative, more interested, and more relaxed teacher if you give yourself time off).
Hi Allie, there seems to be a fair amount of us bloggers that have stagnant blogs, I too am looking to revive mine. Life is just so busy, I have been reading a lot of YA of late too. It is just more relaxed, and hey, at least it's time spent reading. Well done on surviving the first term, and good luck for the rest of the semester! I hope that all goes well with you, and I look forward to hearing more from you when your blog is revived. Bookish greetings, Terri
ReplyDeleteI'm selfishly pleased that my blog isn't the only that has stagnated recently. I participated in the read-a-thon but since then? Nothing. School is demanding so much of my time right now that the last thing I want to do with my free time is read. So unlike me!
ReplyDeleteI have always admired how dedicated you are to teaching, and I know your students reap the rewards. I've had multiple teachers who burnt out or gave up in the middle of the school year. It was frustrating for both them and for me. I hope you are able to strike some kind of balance that makes you happy.
I would just say definitely set aside time for yourself - if that should include writing on the blog, so much the better. But it's you that's important, not the blog... btw, I'm sure you're great with your students - kudos for that!
ReplyDeletePlease do take time for yourself, Allie! You can be a terrific teacher without overdoing it. Just remember that if you're not having fun, the kids will pick up on that. You want to be the calm and collected teacher, not the frazzled, overcommitted one. Be the best you can be ... in the time you decide to give to work and then be the best YOU you can be outside of that time. :)
ReplyDeleteI am with you on re: having a blog that is at a stand still.I think about mine all the time. I miss it and my "classics" reading project so much, but real life has a way of getting in the way of our best plans. With my precious little twins and Alexa and keeping up with my house I barely have time to breath, let alone focus on the project and blog. Someday I shall return!
ReplyDeleteYou are rock awesome and doing great with such a full plate. I'm glad you're squaring away some time for you, and no matter what that means for the blog, we're here! We love ya and love to know what you have to say about books. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for this! It was precisely what I needed to hear today.
ReplyDeleteThis is my first semester teaching college writing, and I feel a similar sense of guilt when I read for pleasure. Thank you for reminding me that I deserve to read what I want now and then.
Congratulations on finishing your first term!