I've been in a bit of a fog the last two days. I wrote yesterday's post in a rush. I didn't reread it before I hit publish, and I wasn't sure how long I was going to let it stay up. I avoided the internet after putting it up, then woke up at 3 this morning to take it down.
Then I saw the outpouring of comments and stayed up a few hours reading and rereading what you all had to say. I decided to keep it up. Why hide a part of myself?
I'm not sure how I feel anymore about that entire situation. It is weird that whenever I feel that down about things, something immediately happens to reassure me. Part of that were all of your lovely comments. But I also got an e-mail from the teacher I subbed for earlier in the year this afternoon. In the e-mail, she told me she graded all the tenth grader's exams and that I did "an awesome job with them" in the first quarter. Two of the kids got 100% on their finals. She also said that "they learned everything they needed to know 1st quarter and then some."
So I do feel better, but I still don't have answers. And I think that's okay.
I wanted to say thank you for writing all the things you did. I am going to work on replying to all of them in the next few days. I never expected that much, so waking up to all of you reassurance and love really touched me this morning. I am very lucky and blessed to a part of such a great community...and it was also nice to see comments from my mom and sister as well (thanks mom. thanks Torrie. Love you both).
Again, thank you. And if I can ever do ANYTHING for any of you, just say my name and I'll be there.